by Lionesses of Africa Operations Department
“People think my life has been tough, but I think it has been a wonderful journey. The older you get, the more you realize it’s not what happens, but how you deal with it.” – Tina Turner, RIP.
According to McKinsey (here): “Women leaders are switching jobs at the highest rates we’ve ever seen—and at higher rates than men in leadership…The reasons [include that] they face headwinds that signal it will be harder to advance.” All of this means they have to work harder and often longer hours than men if only to prove their commitment and worth. Indeed one young woman we know was told by her boss, that given she was working full days and deep into the nights, that she should make sure that she takes an hour off for supper before returning to work (nothing about solving this excess work issue). She has now left that company - who can blame her!
Daily there seem to be new studies on how difficult it is to recruit, keep and promote women in large businesses, but very few that look at the issues that impact women founders and owners of companies. Not surprisingly, the issues affecting Lionesses are not just the same as women in the workforce, including “…belittling microaggressions, such as having their judgment questioned or being mistaken for someone more junior. They’re doing more to support employee well-being and foster inclusion, but this critical work is spreading them thin and going mostly unrewarded.” (McKinsey), but then in addition we have to add on concerns that come with all businesses, such as ensuring there is enough cash for end of month salaries, rent, currency fluctuations, daft (or corrupt) political decisions, lack of electricity and of course the VAT and tax man amongst the endless list of issues we face daily.
Adding in the inability for finance institutions of all shapes and sizes to see past the thick testosterone wall of applications they seem to feed first (for those who have never read our many articles on this subject, we shall be kind and just show the data, here - from ‘Africa - The Big Deal’), then we begin to realize why so many of our membership burn the candle at both ends as they juggle crazy business fears and demands with, of course, their family and community lives - and yes, many come close to, if not hit, ‘burn out’.
It was, therefore, no surprise when we read from Melanie the following (here): “This week, I found myself multi-tasking on a whole new level, working on numerous tasks simultaneously, and particularly with thinking about too many things at the same time. My mind was working overtime, my brain was feeling frazzled, and my creative thinking was compromised.” It happens! She who never stops, stopped!
Although on one side we were secretly excited to find that in spite of all the rumours suggesting otherwise given her crazy workload, Melanie was indeed human, it still came as a shock for us. Melanie being Melanie, she shook herself down, went for a long walk and returned reinvigorated. “As I breathed in some wonderful clean air, listened to the wind blowing through the trees, and watched the birds at play in the water, my mind-space calmed, and I found perspective again…I was able to calm that inner voice stressing me out about deadlines, long task lists, appointments to be made, travel arrangements to make, etc, etc. Instead, calm thought processes returned and I got some much-needed clarity.”
But is that the solution?
It surely can’t be that simple.
As much as we would like to agree with our leader in all things especially this close to bonus time [no, it’s not - Ed], er pay-rise? [good try - Ed], it is not only not that simple, but extremely dangerous in the words of that great 21st century philosopher Taylor Swift to ‘Shake it off’. Stress is great for us in short bursts - with breaks to recover, but long-term constant bombardment - not good, bad, in fact terrible - and even that is an understatement.
The body uses short term stress almost as a fitness regime, but long term means the body cannot heal itself and become stronger (we did a deeper dive into stress here).
Indeed The Economist had a very good description of the feeling that long term stress, Toxic Stress or Burnout, can bring (here): “My listlessness is tugged by the awareness, somewhere at the edge of my consciousness, of an expanding to-do list, and of unread messages and missed calls vibrating unforgivingly a few feet away. But my sullen inertia plateaus when I drop my eyes to the floor and see a glass or a newspaper that needs picking up. The object in question seems suddenly to radiate a repulsive force that prevents me from so much as extending my forearm. My mind and body scream in protest against its outrageous demand that I bend and retrieve it. Why, I plead silently, should I have to do this? Why should I have to do anything ever again?”
Scary!
At this point one should seek outside help, but here let’s take a step back and see if there is something we can do to avoid getting there in the first place…
In amongst all our worries, concerns, issues and emergencies we have to contend with each day, there are also day-to-day meetings and decisions that one as a founder and leader have to take. Not only are there high expectations on you from those waiting for your leadership and guidance, but huge expectations we bring upon ourselves.
High expectations erring on perfectionism is bad for you.
The Economist (here) in an article ‘Why it’s ok not to be perfect at work’ write: “The tyranny of excessively high expectations is not good for you: a big literature review in 2016 concluded that perfectionism is associated with a string of mental-health disorders, from depression and burnout to stress and self-harm.”
What is important is the kind of perfectionist you are it seems: “Psychologists distinguish between a “self-oriented” version, in which people put pressure on themselves to perform flawlessly; an “other-oriented” type, in which people hold their colleagues to the highest of standards; and a “socially prescribed” version, in which employees think that they will only get on if they meet the impossible expectations of those around them. People in the last camp seem to be especially prone to stress. A recent Italian study found that, whereas having extremely high standards for your own performance was not a predictor of burnout, being afraid of making mistakes was.”
All around us there are those with seemingly ‘impossible expectations’ of us, but do they have such expectations, or is it a figment of our imagination and fears? Ultimately you can only control what you can control. In the middle of Covid we wrote about ‘Controlling the Controllables’ here as we were seeing the impossible situation facing our membership just getting worse as they sank beneath the ever rising tide of decisions they were having to make, on the hoof and with little or no warning. They had to clear their desks and especially, their minds fast. Still an important article.
Melanie wrote (here): “As entrepreneurs we think we have to find solutions to every challenge, rise to every occasion with a new way of doing things. But there will be times when we have to accept that we can’t control everything, and that something has to give. As frustrating as it might be, given that many of us are control-freaks, we need to decide what’s essential, what will provide the best return on our time and energy investment, and focus on that. Remember, this doesn’t mean you are defeated in any way, it’s simply smart to focus on what you can control, and not expend any more brain-power on what you can’t.”
As Tina Turner (now there was a Lioness!), said: “…it’s not what happens, but how you deal with it [that counts].” And hey if you make a mistake, if the outcome is not perfect - what’s the worst that can happen?
So - you show that you are only human…
…at least you will be in good company!
Stay safe.