by Kathy Mann, Author & Speaker
Stress is pervasive. We are bombarded with deadlines, challenges at work and relationship conflicts. We are told by popular media that stress kills and indeed many people have developed chronic illnesses triggered by stress, including me.
And yet, I believe that stress is highly beneficial. I didn’t get to this place easily, however. After a few years in a very stressful work environment, I developed an autoimmune disease that I will have to manage for the rest of my life. In addition, I suffered from chronic fatigue for years and it really affected my life. I lost my ability to work and earn income, many relationships and my confidence. It took me a long time to come to terms with what happened and I was shocked at what stress could do. I thought I was living a healthy life. I was an ultramarathon runner and I had a healthy diet including fresh fruit and vegetables. I didn’t even drink alcohol and I kept caffeine to a minimum. My diagnosis came as a great shock and it took a long time to recover to the point where I could work a full day and still have enough energy to care for my family.
After getting so sick, I wanted to warn the world. I wanted to tell people how much damage stress could do to one’s life. I even wrote a book about my experience and I believed it to be my mission in life to guide people away from this situation. This was my way of being of service to the world. Or so I thought.
In writing my second book, I came across research that changed my thinking about stress. The belief that stress kills is more harmful than the stress itself. People who believe stress is harmful have a lower life expectancy. I also read about studies showing how beneficial stress can be. The higher a nation’s stress index, the higher the GDP, the longevity and the happiness levels of the citizens. I realized that I needed to change my thinking and to embrace the positive side of stress if I wanted to live a long healthy, happy life.
I learnt about the multitude of stress responses and how they help us. The challenge response helps us to perform under pressure and to reach deadlines. The tend-and-befriend response binds us to loved ones in difficult times. Stress inoculation, the process of rumination helps us to learn from our mistakes. We have a range of nuanced responses to support us in a variety of situations.
Stress doesn’t only kill. It also boosts our productivity, bonds us to others and helps us to grow. Shifting our thinking to a state of gratitude for our physiology could extend our lives. For me, that’s motivation enough to embrace stress and to work with my brain and body instead of fighting them. If someone like me who experienced such a dramatic life collapse can think about stress positively, I’m sure you can too.
Kathy Mann is an author and speaker with a special interest in stress management. She is passionate about guiding people towards their best lives possible in harnessing their strengths and innate talents. She offers a stress re-framing service, which shifts beliefs to be more constructive around stress. She does this by educating her clients about the variety of stress responses that exist and how we can benefit from them. Kathy's books Avoiding Burnout and Harnessing Stress are available at major retailers and online at Amazon. She is a wife and mother of two beautiful daughters and lives in Johannesburg, South Africa.