by Ashika Pillay
The topic of purpose and meaning is often an uncomfortable one. One that feels heavy and sometimes feels undone. Do you know your purpose in life? Do I know mine? It’s sounds lofty and unattainable. We look at those who look like they have found theirs’ with envy and sometimes sadness. When will this bolt of enlightenment strike me too?
What if we change the conversation and change the words that we use? From purpose to how to we find meaning? Meaning in our work, in our families and in life itself? What if we change the conversation to know that there is not just one answer, to the question of “what’s my purpose?”
Somehow this reframing feels lighter for me. Feels attainable, and almost a relief. What if we also change the conversation to allow purpose and meaning to evolve, so that we can be flexible with it as we evolve and as our life shifts with age. A mom who finds meaning in taking care of her little kids and has chosen that, can look at other ways to find meaning when her work kids are older. Successful executives and entrepreneurs can evolve purpose as their businesses and careers matures in time. A fixed grasping on purpose that is unchanging can certainly be unhealthy and stress inducing.
Simon Sinek in his book “Start with the Why” says that “Achievement happens when we pursue and attain what we want. Success comes when we are in clear pursuit of why we want it. The why and the meaning behind our actions can be the nucleus of our wellbeing. We can know the deeper perspective from even what may appear to be the most mundane tasks. You can take a dull task (to me at least) like admin, or invoices and infuse meaning into that. This can also be the antidote to that “p” word - procrastination. Looking at the bigger picture!
There’s even the “why” to know your “why”. Studies have shown that purpose and meaning are associated with higher scores for memory, executive functioning, and overall wellbeing. Additionally, there was a cardiovascular health impact in cardiovascular health, lower depression and anxiety levels and greater happiness. A sense of coherence, that manifests in the body with less stress in the system, better sleep, lower levels of inflammation in the body. These people were also more productive, had better connections and relationships. It was also found that there could be monetary value of a purposeful life as a sense of purpose predicts greater income and net worth.
So here are a few practical questions to help you activate your meaning in the work that you do? First look at the bigger picture. What is the reason that your work is important? For example, how and why is accurate invoicing important? What impact does your work have on yourself, and on others? What is the impact on your family, the community, and future generations? You could also speak to a coach and explore this in a more in-depth way.
To start the exploration of your bigger purpose, it’s important to first see this as a journey. Really an exploration. Hold this question with ease and lightness rather than an exam question where the answer must be found and must be right. Below are a few reflective questions to start this journey.
What matters most to me i.e., what are my values?
What am I good at (my strengths)?
To explore, where can I volunteer to see how I feel in that particular environment?
Imagine your best self. What are you doing?
Cultivate positive emotions like awe and gratitude
Look at the people you admire. What about them do you admire most?
When am I in flow (when time stops), what am I doing?
What difference do I want to make?
What will my legacy be? How will my (grand)children describe me?
Meaning and purpose can be the center of performance, of achieving close to if not beyond our potential, of believing in the work that we do and making a positive impact in the world. It does not have to be some lofty goal to change the world dramatically for millions. It can simply be the starting point to change your world, and to leave the world a fraction better than you found it. It requires time, reflection, and action. So, take the first step today, and ask the right questions?
Dr Ashika Pillay is a medical doctor, executive coach and wellbeing and mindfulness teacher. She is a mum of three boys and wife to Thiru Pillay. She believes that the nexus of all her skills is here - to create a space for personal wellbeing, and leadership by living wholeheartedly into our lives, and finding the potential make a change in our lives and the world. She has completed an MBA, and is passionate about Functional Medicine which approaches medicine in a holistic, multi-dimensional manner. She is also a member of faculty at a coaching school, a board member at the Institute of Mindfulness of South Africa and works with corporate clients and students at present.
Her philosophy is in total wellbeing, preventative medicine and mindfulness as routes to us evolving into the best versions of ourselves - mentally, physically and spiritually.
Her passions are women’s health, neuroscience, stress management, yoga and meditation.
Contact details: pillay.ashika5@gmail.com
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