by Ashika Pillay
Being an entrepreneur, especially a female one is not all pretty business. We see the stories on the LinkedIn and Facebook, and perhaps even on Lionesses Of Africa, and we get a good case of either Imposter Syndrome and or Mrs. Doubt (Fire). Sitting in the aftermath of that hit can become ugly and unsettling. We question the choices that we’ve made, and paths we’ve chosen, and wonder if it’s all really worth the effort, and the not-so-prettiness. How can we find help to get out of the hole when we find ourselves there.
In this place, we’ve often forgotten the bigger picture and the “why”. The “why”, the “emotional centerfold” of this story is the driving force, and the raison d’etre of this path. It’s the fuel that drives us. Do you know your “why?” Visit that again, or if you have not articulated it before, take the time now to write that down. Some of us do this because we have the “unsung song inside us”, some want to change the world for the better, some have been touched in some way by a void that they wish to fill. Whatever it is, look at this why. Reconnect with the emotional energy of that and more likely than not, you will climb out of the “funk” of frustration. Yogi Bhajan, yoga teacher, spiritual master and entrepreneur said that, “The purpose of life is to do something which will live forever”. This resonated with me, and with many that follow the path of starting off on their own.
Sometimes when we get stuck, and can’t see the big picture, there’s an energy leak somewhere in our systems. We may find ourselves doing things that we don’t like to do such as sending invoices, following up on debtors, or filling in for a team member for various reasons. You get the picture. The story that we can get stuck in is, “I’ve got to do this” or “why do I have to do this?” We say that the path is not what it’s made out to be, and we wonder if that success story on LinkedIn is dealing with the same demons that we are. First, the answer is an unequivocal yes. Messiness is everywhere and yes, everyone is sparring with mental fights that we have no idea about. Second, how can we change the story in our heads? Judith E Glaser said that, “Words create Worlds.” If we change the resignation and frustration of, “I’ve got to do this” to “I get to do this,” what new energy can we invite? “I get to do this” is a mental model of gratitude and opportunity, of vision and possibility, of abundance and feeling blessed. This change in perspective can change our biochemistry from stress to that of creativity.
The title of this blog is borrowed in part, from Robin Sharma, leadership expert and author who says that, “Change is hard at first, Messy in the middle and Gorgeous at the end.” Chances are that you have already made the hard change, and that you may be in the messy middle. Know that you really are not alone, this is your discomfort zone of growth, where you get to sit in the messiness and work with it.
I learnt this from an amazing entrepreneur that I get to work with!
Dr Ashika Pillay is a medical doctor, executive coach and wellbeing and mindfulness teacher. She is a mum of three boys and wife to Thiru Pillay. She believes that the nexus of all her skills is here - to create a space for personal wellbeing, and leadership by living wholeheartedly into our lives, and finding the potential make a change in our lives and the world. She has completed an MBA, and is passionate about Functional Medicine which approaches medicine in a holistic, multi-dimensional manner. She is also a member of faculty at a coaching school, a board member at the Institute of Mindfulness of South Africa and works with corporate clients and students at present.
Her philosophy is in total wellbeing, preventative medicine and mindfulness as routes to us evolving into the best versions of ourselves - mentally, physically and spiritually.
Her passions are women’s health, neuroscience, stress management, yoga and meditation.
Contact details: pillay.ashika5@gmail.com
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